Incense

Me: Are you burning incense?

Her: Yes. Sorry. I’ll mention it next time.

Me: …

Me: Are you smoking pot?

Her: What? No.

Me: Good.

Her: I know.

Me: Because not in my house, ever.

Her: I know.

Me: Ok.

Her: Ok.

Me: …

Her: …

Her: I’m gonna go now.

Me: Yup. [raises wine glass] Cheers.

Danger, danger Will Robinson

Her friend: [choke, wheeze, coughcoughcough, cough, coughcough]

Me: Either smack him on the back or smother him with a pillow.

Her friend: o_0

Her: You are in a house with two women on their periods. You’re lucky there was an alternative to smothering.